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151: Transition with Grace with Jenn Smith

Career Clarity Coach Jenn Smith here! We’re breaking down a difficult topic which is all about how to resign from your job with grace and gratitude. I’ve recently had conversations with a handful of job changers. Some of them wanted to rage quit and throw their hands up and leave it all behind. Others were held back from moving on because of feelings of guilt for leaving their team behind. So with that, I wanted to share more about rage quitting: What it is and why it’s not the best option for leaving your job. Then we will walk through four tips to resign from your job with a solid plan and without burning bridges. 

Show Notes:

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Transcript

Lisa Lewis Miller  0:04  

Welcome to the Career Clarity Show. If you want to create a career path you’ll love, you’re in the right place. I’m Lisa Lewis Miller, career change coach, published author and your host, and each week, we’ll bring you personal transformation stories, advice and insights from experts about how you can find a more fulfilling, soulful and joyful career.

Jenn Smith  0:30  

Welcome back to the Career Clarity Show, I’m Jenn Smith, your host for today’s episode, which is all about how to resign from your job with grace, and gratitude. I’ve recently had conversations with a handful of job changers. Some of them wanted to rage quit and throw their hands up and leave it all behind. And others were held back from moving on because of feelings of guilt for leaving their team behind. So with that, I wanted to pop on here and talk through rage quitting what it is and why it’s not the best option for leaving your job. And then I’ll pop in with a few points about feeling guilty about leaving a job. Then we will walk through four tips to resign from your job with a solid plan and without burning bridges. And this plan will also help you feel less guilty about leaving your team behind. And then finally, I wanted to share just a brief framework for making a memorable first impression at your new job. So Kelly Thompson and I recently recorded a podcast on this very topic, I’ll make sure I link to that in the show notes as well. So let’s get to it. When it comes down to it leaving a job is a breakup. And let’s face it, breakups are hard, especially for high achievers who do great work and agonize over the response from their team, from their boss and all of the things in between. Sometimes when you’re in a situation and you’re exceptionally frustrated or angry with your work situation, you might feel like telling your boss, you’re done and you want to walk out with any further notice. And recently, I’ve talked with a handful of folks who were certainly feeling like rage quitting was their only option. They were feeling under appreciated. Like no one was listening to them at work. They’re getting all kinds of tasks just kind of dumped on them. And frankly, they had enough. And I totally get it when emotions are high and you’re feeling fried. rage quitting might be something that you’re dreaming about, especially after the last few years when the pandemics have effects on the workplace have really ignited a lot of change. So if you’re finding yourself dreaming and scheming about rage quitting, I encourage you to pause, compose yourself and move forward with a resignation plan. And this will come from a place of grace and gratitude. When you pause and compose yourself and move forward with a plan. In the grand scheme of things, the professional world is rather intimate. And you don’t want a moment of rage, rage or a period of rage to hinder your professional development going forward. And when it comes down to it resigning from your job is part of the career development process. And the reality is moving into a new role or joining a new company is an excellent way to grow your career. So instead of wasting your energy, dreaming and scheming about leaving everyone high and dry, or worrying and anticipating how your boss is going to respond to your news, spend your time planning for a graceful transition, leaving your team well positioned to continue without you. So before we get into the four steps to create that plan, let’s briefly talk about the other side of this. So feeling guilty about leaving your job. And guilt is certainly a natural feeling when leaving a job, especially if you’re leaving a company that has been great to you. And usually that guilt is built up because you’re worried about your team and you care and that’s very natural, and that’s a good thing. You’re worried about how your team is going to move forward without you. And yes, it can be painful in the short term, but you’re going to build a smart Transition Plan and you’re not going to leave them high and dry. I have

Jenn Smith  5:01  

a couple other reasons to not feel guilty when you’re leaving a job. As a former HR professional, I can tell you I’ve worked through many situations where we’ve had to downsize or close a location or business wasn’t doing well. And we had to cut down on headcount, which leads to layoffs. It is a business decision to lay people off, it is not an easy decision. But in the end, business is business. So if you’re feeling guilty, one of the things that might help you put it in perspective, is to know that if the tables were turned, your company likely isn’t going to feel guilty, and they are going to come at this from a point of a business decision. Second reason not to feel guilty is picture yourself staying in the role. So you maybe even if you’ve passed up a cool new job opportunity, but you’ve stayed in your current role, because you feel guilty? How are you going to feel every single day going to this job, knowing that you pass up a cool new opportunity, you’re probably going to become more resentful, which can turn into poor performance, it can cause some negative emotions. And that can actually cause a chain reaction to your team, your client and your co workers. So that’s another way you if you can put yourself forward, if you stay in the role, how are you going to feel and how is that going to affect you and your team and your colleagues at the end of the day. And then third reason not to feel guilty, I mentioned previously is that growth and development is part of your career. It’s an expectation that you continue to develop. And sometimes that means leaving for a new opportunity. It’s exciting to learn a new role, or learn a new industry and meet new colleagues at a new company. This is what makes your career fun and dynamic. So the bottom line is, if you remain at your company out of guilt, no one wins. So now let’s get into the four steps to finish well, step number one is to determine your timeline. So providing adequate notice is respectful and allows proper communication and transition of work. Typical timeline is to provide a two week notice. Now, depending on your role in the organization, you may want to extend that timeline. So some people that work in leadership or in a very technical role, provide a longer timeline, maybe four weeks or six weeks to allow for that smooth transition. You also might want to take a break in between jobs, which I highly recommend if you are in a position to do so. So be sure to think through the timing of if you have a new role and you’re starting with a new company, and you’re working through that start date. You also want to think about your end date, and give yourself a breather in between jobs if you’re able to do that. And then you also want to think through your timeline as it relates to any benefits or bonuses coming your way. So for example, if your annual bonus is paid out in March, and you’re planning to leave in February, it might be worth it to stay for a few extra weeks to get your bonus. Another example here is your paid time off. So does your company pay out your PTO if you leave? If so, what does that timing look like in terms of what you’ve accrued year to date. So just understanding your company’s policy and what you might or might not be owed in terms of paid time off. And then think about anything else you might have to pay back that’s on a timeline. So some examples here. Perhaps you’ve relocated for a job. Some organizations have relocation policies that if you leave in your first year, you have to re pay your relocation agreement, which could be a good chunk of money. Another example might be tuition reimbursement. So maybe you’ve taken classes and gotten a reimbursement. You also want to check into the timing to see if you are going to owe anything back to the organization because you haven’t stayed for the particular amount of time that that policy requires.

Jenn Smith  9:44  

You want to take time to get clear on compensation equity vesting schedules, again to make sure you’re not going to leave anything on the table. And in terms of your timeline, the more time you can spend You know, making sure that the timeline is right for you. And the more time you can provide your organization to plan for your departure, the better off you’ll be. So the second step here is to craft a communications plan. So think about who needs to know about your resignation? Who do you want to be sure you talk to before word gets out. So basically, you want to make a list of the people that you want to talk with. Out of respect, your boss should be the first person you tell, this will avoid a lot of office gossip and allow your manager to prepare for the necessary follow up communications. So when you talk to your manager, you’re going to want to set up a one on one meeting to share the news. This can be in person, which is ideal if you’re in an office or over video, if you’re not in an office, and as much as you might want to email or text your boss the news, because that’s easier than having the conversation, it’s definitely best to discuss this in person or over video or even over the phone versus sharing your news in an email or text. In terms of the conversation, it should be short and succinct. So something very simple. Like you know, thank you for meeting with me today, I wanted to let you know I’ve made the decision to leave. And my last day will be you know, whatever the date of your last day. It might be tempting, especially if you’re in that rage quitting situation to air all of your gripes and grievances with the company in this conversation. But now is not the time for that. So you want to be polite, you want to be gracious, and doing in doing so it will leave a lasting impression and provide the opportunity potentially, for you to have a reference down the line. So if you think your manager is going to be surprised, you definitely also want to be sure to give them some time to process the news during this conversation. You don’t have to give any additional ID details as to why you’re leaving or where you’re going. Depending on your relationship with your manager, you might want to which is fine, but just know that you don’t need to. This is also a good time to share your top level ideas for a smooth transition. So this is going to put your manager at ease letting them know that you’ve thought through the decision, and you’re not going to leave them high and dry.

Jenn Smith  12:39  

And then after you have the resignation conversation, you are probably going to want to follow up with an email recap again, short and sweet. Nothing other than you’ve made the decision to leave as well as your end date or your last day. Some organizations will ask for a formal resignation letter. So you just want to make sure you’re prepared for that. And then you also want to make sure you’re prepared for any follow up questions about your reasons for leaving and where you’re going. So a lot of managers are going to care and they’re going to ask those questions. So if you are comfortable sharing, that’s fine. I always recommend just to be brief and honest with your answers. And then from there, you want to determine who else you want to talk with directly. So do you have a matrix manager or others that you collaborate with closely, maybe you have direct reports that you want to speak with face to face, make sure you and your manager are on the same page in terms of who you’re going to tell before some big team announcement comes out and people are hurt because they didn’t hear it from you. So it’s best to think through all of this beforehand. Okay, so after you’ve determined your timeline and crafted a communication strategy, it’s time to think through your detailed transition plan. transitioning your work to other team members is going to be one of the most challenging parts of your departure. And it’s going to be the first thing on your managers mind and your team members minds, I’m sure. So you want to start by talking to your boss about who’s going to take on the additional responsibilities until a placement or replacement is determined. So think through your key objectives. Think through the projects you’re working on. And what I like to do is develop a list of kind of mission critical actions versus nice to have actions. And what I recommend here is creating a written plan in a shared folder. So that makes it really easy to attach documents, files, links, everything that’s necessary for the team to carry on in your absence. The other thing you might want to think through in terms of timing and develop developing trends. Session plan is allowing some time for overlap. So maybe there’s a weekly task, you are transitioning to a new team member, that you could actually start to have them take over while you’re there to explain. So sometimes showing somebody is a lot easier, you know, then them having to sit there and read a document in a file weeks later. The other thing in terms of your transition plan is that you might have an exit interview with someone from human resources during your last couple of days. And so this is typically a meeting where you’re asked some questions, and you’re able to share feedback about the company, the culture, and it can be really important information for the organization to have in order to improve. So what I would say here is don’t be afraid to share, although I suggest being as objective and constructive as possible. So you definitely want to be thorough, you want to be honest, you don’t want to throw anyone under the bus as much as you might want to do that. But not doing that. And being thorough and being honest, and being objective will help you finish well, and exit with grace and gratitude. So now that you’ve determined your timeline, you’ve crafted a communication strategy, built a transition plan. Now it’s time to make sure you stay connected and leave on a positive note. So leaving your esteemed colleagues behind is often one of the most challenging things with resigning. But keep in mind, just because you don’t work together each day doesn’t mean you can’t continue your working relationship, especially in our online world, it’s so much easier to stay connected with the people that you want to stay in touch with. It’s also a good idea to recognize your manager for their support, it’s a good idea to to, you know, maybe highlight something specific you learned from your manager while working together. Your colleagues and clients are valuable to your network now and in the future. So you want to make sure you connect with them on LinkedIn, share your contact information, so they know how to easily stay in touch with you. You might even want to consider writing a couple thank you cards or emails to showcase your gratitude and leave that lasting impression.

Jenn Smith  17:41  

So now that we’ve talked through four key areas to think about when you’re crafting your resignation plan, let’s talk a little bit about the forward thinking in terms of making a memorable first impression at your new job. So starting a new job can be super fun. And it can also be super nerve wracking at the same time. And as a high achiever, my guess is that you want to make a strong first impression. And sometimes we think that we are expected to have all the answers right away from day one. When the reality is when you are starting with your new team, your goal is to soak up as much as information as possible, cultivate new relationships and begin to add value. So a simple process to help you think through a smooth onboarding plan includes three components, people, process and performance. So in your first 90 days on a job, meeting your new colleagues and your co workers is the number one thing that you should have in mind. Second thing is process. So what are the daily, weekly, monthly annual team processes that you need to know and get involved with to help you with your performance, which is the third bucket so knowing what you’re going to be held accountable for in not only your first 3060 90 days, but beyond that, and so having some idea of annual goals or what you’re accountable for in the very beginning, can help you ease into your onboarding process and make a fabulous first impression. So in terms of people, it is essential to go out of your way to meet new team members, especially if you’re onboarding virtually like so many folks have been doing. So one of the best ways to do this is to let your manager know that meeting your team and building relationships is crucial for you. So ask for a list of people you should get to know And then be sure to expand that list beyond your immediate team. So who are the teams that you’re going to collaborate with most often? What about your skip level manager, don’t forget about the essential support departments, HR and IT are always significant pupils to spend a little bit of time getting to know. And especially it if you’re working remotely,

Jenn Smith  20:27  

then you want to think about external partners. So are there agencies or clients or contractors that your team regularly interacts with. So remember to think outside the box and have a list of all of the people you need to make to meet. Once you have your list, start thinking through some creative ways to introduce yourself to everyone. So for example, taking the initiative to set up a quick 10 minute coffee chat is a fabulous way to start on the right foot. Let me reiterate, the critical component here is taking the initiative to schedule these meetings. So don’t sit back and wait for others to reach out to they’re super busy, they might not even know that you’ve started with the team. So stepping up, taking the initiative to make it happen will set you apart. As you meet your new colleagues, don’t be afraid to jump in and help. If you sense that someone is stressed, ask how you can support them as the new person, you likely have a little bit of extra time on your hands as you’re getting up to speed. So a simple act of helping will help build that relationship really quickly, and set you apart. So maybe it’s something simple like proofreading your colleagues, all company email communication, before he hit send, you know, that’s going to make an impact. Or maybe someone’s testing out a new training system, and they’re facilitating a virtual class. And they want to, you know, test the tech before before they teach the class, you could be the one that they test the tech with. So this is really going to help you break down the barriers and make that fabulous new impression first impression with your new colleagues. Another simple way to hit the ground running in the people category is to ask meeting organizers to give you just 30 seconds at the beginning or end of a meeting to introduce yourself. So you’re likely going to attend a bunch of meetings throughout your first couple of weeks. And a quick hello through zoom or in person is an easy way for people to start to put a name and a face again, and for you to make that great first impression. So developing relationships with your team is your priority. So from there, you want to think about process. Starting a new job is a fresh start. It’s a fantastic time to get organized and set good habits. So how do you want to manage your time? Do you need to block time for creative projects? If so, establishing your calendar and your boundaries right out of the gate will ensure you’re successful from the start. Speaking of the calendar, taking time to learn about reoccurring team processes, and adding them to your schedule will ensure you don’t miss relevant information. Sometimes when you’re new, you might not be added to distribution lists right away. So you want to be proactive and ask what weekly monthly quarterly meetings are happening, and so you can get them on your calendar immediately. And this is a sure bet that you’re included. And you can quickly join in on the regular team processes. Another process I highly recommend is one on one meetings with your direct manager. These are imperative for your success. And if your manager doesn’t have a one on one meeting process already set up. Ask for one, especially in your first 3060 90 days. So setting aside dedicated time to meet is essential. It’s going to eliminate a lot of ineffective communication. So when you think about it, as you’re navigating your new role, you’re probably going to have a ton of questions. So instead of pinging your manager every time you have a question, jot them down on a post it note or save it on your computer for when you have your regularly scheduled meeting. And you can get all of those questions answered. Also, knowing that you have that dedicated time and support from your manager will also ease your mind as you cruise through your onboarding.

Jenn Smith  24:42  

So once you have an understanding of the team and the team processes, it’s time to talk about your performance. So this is the third factor when effectively navigating your onboarding. So you want to you clarify performance expectations and define success with your manager? So how are you going to get the resources you need to do your job? Well? How will your performance be assessed? Ask your manager what you’re going to be accountable for in your first 3060 90 days. Typically, the expectation is for you to complete Essential Training, meet appropriate team members, although it’s crucial to get crystal clear, so you don’t miss an expectation. And you’re not guessing a lot of times when you’re starting in a new organization you’re trying to learn and it’s overwhelming. And if you’re guessing at what’s expected of you, it can make that a lot more nerve wracking and hard. So don’t guess talk to your manager, ask for feedback, ask what’s going well ask what you could be doing better and really start to define a forward thinking plan. Obviously, a performance expectations don’t end after your onboarding. And I might even go out on a limb to say that performance expectations begin at the end of your onboarding. So therefore, learning how your performance is going to be reviewed and measured beyond your onboarding period is crucial. Some companies will have performance management processes that are administered on a biannual basis, others are more frequent. So you want to understand what that timeline is for your new organization. And obviously, that’s going to be aligned to when you start with your organization. So if your performance management process starts in October, and you began with your company in August, that’s going to come up pretty quickly. So you need to understand what that means for you and your timeline. Learning the performance management process and your first couple of weeks again, is going to remove that guesswork, it’s going to help you prioritize and lay the groundwork for an exceptional first year. And then finally, what I would say here too, is if your company doesn’t have a formal 3060 90 day, check in, set up a meeting with your manager at least at the 90 day mark to make sure you’re on the right track. This is an excellent time again to ask for feedback. Understand what’s going well understand what you could be doing better and define a forward thinking plan. Not to mention, your manager will likely be impressed to hear how thoughtful and proactive you are about meeting your performance expectations. So in closing, give yourself some grace. So resigning from one job and starting a new job is a big transition. Believing in yourself is the key to effectively closing one door and succeeding in a new job. Undoubtedly, you will face difficulties and there will be some missteps as you’re adjusting. But don’t forget to keep a close eye on how far you’ve come and enjoy your new beginning. So in summary, the strategy to resign with grace and gratitude includes four main steps, determine your timeline, craft a communication strategy, build a thorough Transition Plan and stay connected with your colleagues. When planning your onboarding, make a fabulous and memorable first impression through three main components people who do you need to meet and how can you begin to develop relationships quickly? process? What are the team processes you need to get in on ASAP? And performance? what is expected of you and what are you going to be evaluated on? So I hope this was helpful. That is a wrap for today’s episode. As always, you can find the show notes at get Career Clarity show.com/podcast Talk to you next time.

Lisa Lewis Miller  29:25  

And that’s a wrap. Let us know what you thought about today’s episode. Leave us a review on Apple podcasts. Because not only can your stars and words help us find great guests and topics to feature on future episodes. Your input also helps other people find the resources they need to discover the work that lights them up. And make sure to check out my book Career Clarity: Finally Find the Work That Fits Your Values and Lifestyle. For the link to order it go to GetCareerClarity.com/book And don’t forget to get your other tools resources and helpful goodies at GetCareerClarity.com/podcast. Thanks again for joining us for the Career Clarity Show today. And remember, if you don’t love your work, we should talk because life is too short to be doing work that doesn’t light you up. Talk to you next time.  

About the Author Lisa Lewis

Lisa is a career change coach helping individuals feeling stuck to find work that fits. She helps people clarify who they are, what they want most, and what a great job for them looks like so they can make their transition as easily as possible. Lisa completed coaching training in Jenny Blake’s Pivot Method, Danielle LaPorte’s Fire Starter Sessions, Kate Swoboda's Courageous Living Coaching Certification, and the World Coaches Institute. In addition to that, she apprenticed with the top career coaches in the country so she can do the best possible work with — and for — you. She's helped more than 500 individuals move into more fulfilling, yummy careers and would be honored to get to serve you next!

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