148:  Make the Most of Your First 90 Days with Kelli Thompson

Calling all listeners who are about to start a new job, or have just started a new job – this episode is for you. Career Clarity coach and co-host Jenn Smith and guest expert Kelli Thompson are diving into how to make the most of your first 90 days on a new job. 

Kelli is a women’s leadership coach and speaker who helps women advance to the rooms where decisions are made. She has coached and trained hundreds of women to trust themselves, lead with more confidence and create a career they love. 

Show Notes:

• Closing the Confidence Gap: Boost Your Peace, Your Potential, & Your Paycheck – Releases October 2022!
• Kelli Thompson
• IG: @kelliraethompson
• Roadmap to a Fulfilling Career eBook

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Transcript

Welcome to the Career Clarity Show. If you want to create a career path you’ll love you’re in the right place. I’m Lisa Lewis Miller, career change coach, published author and your host, and each week we’ll bring you personal transformation stories, advice and insights from experts about how you can find a more fulfilling, soulful and joyful career.

Jenn Smith  0:30  

Welcome back to the Career Clarity Show, I’m your host Career Clarity Show coach Jenn Smith. If you’re a listener, who is a about to start a new job, or has just started a new job, this episode is for you. Today, we’re going to dive into how to make the most of your first 90 days on a new job. And let me tell you, I wish I had these tips. And when I started each of my new jobs back in the day, I am here today with Kelli Thompson. Kelli is a women’s leadership coach and speaker who helps women advance to the rooms where decisions are made. She has coached and trained hundreds of women to trust themselves, lead with more confidence and create a career they love. She is the founder of clarity and confidence Women’s Leadership Program, and a Stevie Award winner for Women in Business Coach of the Year. Kelli is also the author of closing the confidence gap. boosts your peace, your potential and your paycheck, which is releasing this fall of 2022. Kelli, welcome to the show.

Kelli Thompson  1:41  

Thank you so much for having me. I love your show. So I’m so glad to be here.

Jenn Smith  1:45  

Excellent. And I would love to start out obviously we’re always very curious about people’s career stories. And before we hit record, we were talking about both of our careers in the corporate world. So can you share a little bit more about your background and why this work is so important to you?

Kelli Thompson  2:01  

Oh, absolutely. You know, you could say my corporate career actually started when I was 15. Because my first job was at McDonald’s, flipping fries, taking orders cleaning public restrooms, you know, everybody’s dream job. But I went to college and you know, had jobs in college, I worked at Victoria’s Secret, I was a manager. And then I got into banking my senior year. And I was like, I kind of like this nice, clean nine to five environment. So after college, I actually stayed in banking and investments. And I worked for a bank, I worked for banks, actually for about 14 or 15 years. And I was in training, I was in marketing, I spent some time in sales. And one of the things that I started to notice was, you know, I really love to be creative. And banks have a lot of rules. There’s a lot of compliance, you have to go through a lot of red tape, you know, and I’m just like, I’m just not really diggin how much approval I have to get to do everything. And so I thought to myself, Oh, my, I think my time here is over, which was scary in and of itself. If you’ve made a career change, or you’re about to make a career change, and it’s been a big part of your life to go, these people raised me like, can I really be successful anywhere else. But I made the leap and I went to work for a tech company, learned a lot of lessons about how to be a beginner again and redefine your success. I spent three years at that tech company overseeing HR. Then I went to go work for a author in a leadership development and consulting company. I travel all around the US and Canada delivering leadership development events and training, etc. Coaching, and I really got tired traveling so much. And so then in 2019, I had a conversation with her and I just said, I really need to get off the road. I’m tired. My daughter’s getting older. I have a now 16 year old she was a middle school. She’s you know, getting involved in things. I was getting remarried, and I just wanted to be home. And she said, you know, unfortunately, I don’t have a job that’s not traveling. And so I had a choice. Do I want to go find another corporate career? Or did I want to take the leap and try to start my own coaching practice. And so in 2019, I took the leap and started my own leadership coaching and speaking practice. And here we are still here. It’s still going.

Jenn Smith  4:16  

And that’s an accomplishment in itself.

Kelli Thompson  4:18  

Yeah, 2020 was a little scary. But here we are. We was

Jenn Smith  4:21  

five. Yeah, well, congratulations, lots of career changes in there. So you’re certainly an expert. I always like talking to folks who are experts in their own career changes that can also help others you know, and those experiences can really help others make those transitions. So and especially the ultimately to being self employed. I used to say that I you know, I had the same kind of story there too. And I used to say that it was a corporate dropout. But then I reframed that to corporate graduate because we know graduating from corporate careers is is quite an accomplishment in itself.

Kelli Thompson  4:57  

Oh absolutely. I love the way you rephrase that. Yeah. That’s

Jenn Smith  5:01  

awesome. Well, let’s talk about career changes in general. So there’s been a lot of shift in the job market and lots of people making changes. It’s been coined as the great resignation or the great reshuffle. And now I’ve even heard the term, the great regret that is lingering out there. So lots of people kind of adjusting their career trajectories. So I’d love your thoughts on just kind of why this is happening. And maybe a little bit more about your perspective.

Kelli Thompson  5:28  

Yeah, 100%. So there’s research out to out there that shows that when the pandemic happened, it was kind of a great recognition for everyone. Because you know, at a 50,000 foot level, everyone is experiencing this great, almost traumatic event that is totally upheaved our lives. And so when people as a collective experience something, it causes us to go inward and reflect on the things that really matter. Now, my clients primarily being women, they were hardest hit by the pandemic, you know, all of a sudden, they were career women who said, Oh, okay, if you are in a position where you can work from home, you’re going to work from home. Oh, and by the way, while you’re working from home, can you make sure that your kids are being tutored online? And so here, they are trying to shift work from home tutor their kids. And all the while we’re just, you know, suffering as a collective, and people started to ask themselves the question, is this really worth it? Is this what I really want to do with my life? Is this how I want to spend my time, because so much had changed, people started to ask themselves, some really soul searching questions about what they truly wanted, who they truly were, maybe all the rules that they had follow that they thought would make them happy and successful. And now all of a sudden, it’s not. And so it just really started to spur people to ask some questions. And all of a sudden, kind of this employment model got flipped on its head, where it was the employers kind of dictating how work would be now all of a sudden, people are having more say in how they work, when they work, the places they work the hours that they want. And so with all of this happening at once, people just started to say, You know what, maybe I don’t have to do this, maybe there’s something else out there that would make me happier, more aligned with my talents. And if not, now, when? And you started to see people make some changes, especially for flexibility. And well being that was a huge driver of change. Yes,

Jenn Smith  7:23  

I always say, you know, the majority of my clients crave flexibility in their careers. And there are some companies before the pandemic that that understood that and got that, but majority didn’t. And if there is one little glimmer of light that came from this global reawakening it was the fact that flexibility is now accepted in the workplace, especially for women and mothers. And so yeah, I love the way that you that you framed to it kind of like the whole employment model got tipped upside down. It literally did. And now organizations are trying to have to kind of finagle their way, you know, through this and out of it, because we’ve never we’ve never, you know, done it before. But to me, it’s about time. So. Amen. I agree. So, so this, this notion of the great regret or career change remorse, it has been coming up most recently. So people have made changes. And now they’re pausing, like, oh, my gosh, what did I just do? What happened? And maybe they’re regretting their decisions. Talk a little bit about that. You mentioned this a lot in your in your work?

Kelli Thompson  8:26  

Yeah, absolutely. So I typically find that when people change careers, one of three things happen. One, they make a change, and maybe the change isn’t significantly different. They’re going to into an organization where they already know some people and the work is very similar. And they slide right in, and they’re like, this is good, I’m good. I’m happy. I’m good, right, and you’ve got those folks. And then you’ve got some folks who come into a new organization. And they feel really unsettled. Because all of a sudden, they’re a beginner again. And I think that really catches folks off guard. And I’ll just tell my own personal story to illustrate this. So when I left working for the same company for 12 years, I made a leap, not only from a larger, highly structured, hierarchical company, but to a smaller technology company, I switched industries. And so at the old organization, I knew everybody, I’d been there for 12 years, I’d worked in like four different departments. I used to be on their television commercials. And so I just kind of knew how to navigate things. I had really built a lot of my comfort there being an expert, because if I didn’t know the answer, like I knew who to call, I knew all the acronyms and the ins and outs and all the politics and the culture. And I go to this new organization, and I show up. And my first week, I remember thinking to myself, they could be playing a script, half from the office, how from Grey’s Anatomy, and punking me and I would never know because you sit in these meetings, I’m supposed to be overseeing HR, and I’m like, I don’t even know what these people are talking about. They’re using all these acronyms. And I just feel so stupid. And really what I learned in those career changes. And what a lot of folks experience is, we aren’t ready for that identity shift of going from expert to beginner from being known to being unknown. And that can be really jolting to our identity to our ego. And so it’s really learning like is my discomfort or maybe my twinge of regret? Is it because I made the wrong choice? Or is it because I’m feeling just really uncomfortable being a beginner again, and not knowing anybody and not knowing the politics and the networks and the acronyms. And so that’s kind of the second group of folks, then I have the third group of folks which, you know, I, I’ve talked with a couple. And perhaps they made a decision, because they saw a lot of their colleagues leaving, maybe there was a string of too many bad days, and they’re like, you know, I really feel like maybe I need to explore what’s out there and take a leap to, and, you know, through sometimes no fault of their own, they, they are presented with an opportunity, the salary is good, and they take it, and they get into the organization. And they realize that there is a total values mismatch, like the way that the company functions and works and make decisions is really at odds with the way they prefer to work with their values and their decisions. And I really see an incredible amount of regret or even remorse there that they made a change, because, you know, just fundamentally, things just aren’t meshing. So I think there’s a difference. Obviously, like I said, there’s the three types, there’s the happy types, there’s the folks that are just struggling with being the beginner again, or I think it’s asking yourself, the question is, Have I fundamentally made a mismatch, and I’ve made the wrong choice. And that’s okay, if you if you’ve done that have a ton of compassion for yourself, the world is not ending. So

Jenn Smith  11:48  

that’s right. Yeah, here at Career Clarity Show, we totally understand that we and it led us to create an entire phase of this work dedicated to testing the waters before you actually make the leap. So you don’t move into that new role. And realize you’ve made a mistake in that third group that you talked about, because that’s really, you know, trying to mitigate that before you before you make your final decision, I think is a critical component of making a career change. So important. Yeah, and your grouping of the three, the three types of changes, there is spot on. And I love, you know, kind of giving yourself permission to be new again, and being a beginner again, it’s okay. I feel like I remember starting new roles, and I would say, I just want to fast forward six months, like let me just like zoom through fast forward six months, I know the people I know the acronyms I know all the things and everything’s, you know, better. It’s just, but you know, that six months is key, you know, it’s a key piece of the, you know, the transition and learning and just knowing that you’re going to do that and giving yourself that grace that ahead of time, you know, makes makes a lot of sense. So, so talk to me about when when there’s a lot of uncertainty, and you have like, you know, the the first 90 days on the job are critically important. You know, and making that first impression and making sure that you are confident in your abilities. Talk to me about why those first 90 days are so important.

Kelli Thompson  13:16  

Yeah, yeah, those first 90 days, I think really set the trajectory for your long term success and connections at the business. And so when we think about making those a success, I often talk with my clients or anyone who will listen that those first 90 days being a success, really start long before you take the job. And that really starts by defining your values, like what are my personal career values? What do I value in my work and in my career, so I’ll use myself as an example, one of the things that I realized was a career value for me was creativity, and learning. And how did I know that because at the organization that I was at previously, they were a wonderful organization, they truly are, I would tell anyone to go work there. But one of the things that I noticed about what I needed was, I didn’t want six layers of approvals to do things. idea, I had an idea, I wanted to have the idea and I wanted to go do it. And I really valued consistent learning, they didn’t have the best learning and development budget, but that’s not a value for everyone. So it’s knowing what your values are. And first before you even getting to that organization, making sure that you’re working for an organization that values what you value, because that’s going to make the first 90 days a lot easier. Because even if there’s some challenges, or there’s some things that don’t go the way you hoped, where you can come back to this place where you know, you have some shared values, it really makes overcoming those obstacles and that uncertainty a lot easier. So the first 90 days being so important. I think a lot of folks get into it and say, okay, 90 days, here’s all the things that I need to accomplish and all the boxes that I need to check and folks really get into this kind of doing mindset or this achieving mindset. And one of the things that they tend to find I Ask me how I know is that you know, you get into an organization and you realize, oh, maybe I’ve made some assumptions, or that’s just not the way they work, or you start to ask some questions. And you’re like, actually, I’m not sure if maybe my timeline was was so good. But folks find a lot of frustration there sometimes, because they come in with these self imposed timelines that they must do this, by this, because that means I will be successful. So instead, I start to really ask the opposite question. I say, you know, if you were working with somebody coming in their first 90 days, you know, what would you expect from them? Would you expect stellar results on a timeline? Or would you really want them to understand the organization get to know the priorities and get to know the people need typically respond with the ladder? And I think that that really takes a lot of pressure off of us to say, you know, what, instead of my goal, being an expert in the first 90 days, and checking all the boxes, and exceeding expectations, you know, because that sets us up for a lot of frustration, because just like you and I were talking about, you get in, and there’s just a lot of things you don’t know, there’s a lot of things to learn. And if you’re expecting to be an expert, that’s kind of a setup for a letdown. So instead, change your goal. What if your goal in the first 90 days is to really lead with your values, is to get really curious about what you can learn about the organization? What if your goal in the first 90 days is to just be a learner? What if your goal in the first 90 days is to make really solid connections with people so that you can build that good foundation that you need to, you know, be successful the next 180 days? Now, I’m not saying that you’re not going to have some successes along the way. Because Absolutely, you will, if you go in with a mindset of curiosity, learning and connection, but it just sometimes takes the pressure off of unrealistic expectations, which can cause a lot of dissatisfaction in the first 90 days, if you don’t meet all these timelines that you kind of dreamed up in your head before you started. So

Jenn Smith  17:04  

yes, and to add to that, even communicating, you know, with your manager or with your team, about what your plans are to be curious, and to learn, you know, and sharing, like, Hey, this is what I’ve got, you know, on my plate for the next 90 days are you aligned, and, you know, I know from working in corporate HR for many years, that companies just sometimes are not good at onboarding, unfortunately. And so you need to take that on yourself and say, These are my priorities, you know, I’m going to learn the people, I’m going to learn your processes, and I’m going to learn about you know, how performance is evaluated. And then from there, I’ll create the longer term plan. And so, yeah, I love that it kind of like reframing your expectations, you’re not going to go in there and get results in your first 90 days, but go in there and to build the connections, communicate your plan, you know, and start meeting the right people I think is critical. And I love how you touched on your values, too, I feel like this is just a piece of career that is forgotten. I wish they taught this in school, you know, and just making sure that you are aligned to an organization, like we said, before you get in there, and you know, that can ease that transition and make it so much, you know, just not easier. Because I won’t say, you know, none of this is easy, but it can make the transition smooth. If you know that you’re aligned from the, from that core place going into the organization, I call it your non negotiables like, what are your non negotiables that you have in your career and making sure that that organization is going to have those same non negotiables. And that can help you make decisions as you’re going through a transition center. Yeah, 90 days are important and reframing. So you’re not gonna, you’re not gonna, you know, get touchdowns, you know, in your first 90 days. So just kind of put that out of your mind and move in with the with the idea of making connections and learning it love it. So you have some fabulous tips around making first impressions and worrying less about starting a job. And I’d love to dive into some of those. We talked about defining your values. I want to just to ask a little bit more about that. What What’s your thoughts on the how to when you go about defining your values? Because it seems like this very broad thing, but what are your thoughts on how somebody might go about that?

Kelli Thompson  19:18  

Yeah, you know, I think sometimes values get a bad rap. And I talk about this in my book. It’s the opening chapter. And I actually say, if you find yourself rolling your eyes about me asking you to define your values, I want you to know that you are not alone. Because unfortunately, companies have done Oh, these are our core values. They tend to be things that are plastered on websites, but optionally followed through on and so sometimes values people can be like, Oh, but I love the line by Hamilton. I love I’m a Hamilton geek fun fact about me. You know, when Hamilton says to Aaron Burr, if you don’t know what you stand for, what will you fall for? That’s how I view values. So in your career, what do you stand for? So my five values are love, respect, family, creativity and learning. When I was getting remarried, when I was looking for a career like these are the things I stand for. And I got very clear about what did those behaviors mean? If somebody has a value of love, or a family, or respect or creativity and learning, what am I seeing in the organization? What types of decisions are they making? How are they treating their employees? So it’s knowing what you stand for? Another good question to help you define your values as a leader is just to ask yourself, what are three words that I will that I would want people to use to describe me? Oftentimes, that gives you really good clues into what you stand for. I gave another little hint to earlier, sometimes, I want you to notice where you frequent frequently get resentful, because sometimes that means a value has been crossed. So I frequently got resentful at work, when I had to go for six layers of approvals. And I’m like, why am I getting so resentful here? And I’m like, oh, because I value creativity and the ability to have an idea test the idea that test and learn mindset. And it’s been bad, like, that’s a value of mine that’s being violated. And that’s why I feel resentful. So I think those are three really good places to start. What do I stand for? What do I want to be known for? What are three words I want people to use to describe me? And then what makes me resentful? And could the opposite be a value? Because it’s being being crossed?

Jenn Smith  21:26  

Yes, those are excellent, excellent tips. And I would encourage anyone that’s listening, to write down those questions and put some thought into your core values, it will help you make decisions as you go through your career change. And I love how you described the behaviors. It’s not just a word, or it’s not just a phrase posted on a wall in everybody’s office, what are the behaviors that the organization that people in the organization use to exemplify those words? And, you know, for our career changers, the folks that are likely listening, it’s really digging in and asking people that question before you start at a company to make sure you’re not going to regret or have remorse on your decision. And asking for examples of how those values are lived in the day to day can give you such a good peek in the you know, under the tent before you make that final decision. So such a key point I really, really wish we were taught this in school, I tell you,

Kelli Thompson  22:28  

I always tell my clients is you always know what a company values by where it spends the majority of their budget, money where the mouth is, no, and we do it in our personal lives. If you looked at where my credit card money goes, it goes to books and online courses. Why? Because I value learning is no different within organization. So if they say they value creativity, are they actually spending money on fostering creativity? And so that’s a great question to ask is to say, tell me what kind of budget you have behind XYZ? And that might give you some clues on to if they actually follow through with their values? Oh, that’s

Jenn Smith  23:01  

a juicy question. And I feel like if someone asked me that in an interview, they would get a double star for asking good questions. That’s a great question. I’ve asked it. So good, so good. Excellent. Okay, your second tip you had alluded to earlier around this idea of an identity shift. And this is a big one. So this can make the change even more uncomfortable. So talk to us a little bit about how to make that and how to work through that. Yeah,

Kelli Thompson  23:30  

I think so many of us, and again, myself included, are have really wrapped our identities around our career, we oftentimes believe this mindset. And again, I’m talking about myself that who I am is what I do. And so with that comes expertise, competence, success, knowledge, intelligence, a salary a title. And so when you find yourself making this shift, there’s nothing more than the ego hates more, which is uncertainty. So if you’re going into a new job, and you’re not the expert, you don’t feel competent, you’re not having that type of successes that just roll off your plate like you’re used to, or maybe your title is, is a little different, it’s changed, you know, that can be really disorienting to our egos, because remember, the ego hates uncertainty, and so it’s gonna fight it at every turn. And so it’s really learning to untangle your who from your do meaning what I do, is not who I am, who I am, and what I can offer is so much more than what I can do. And you know, I think you asked me a question earlier about tips for first impression you when we really think about, you know, our identities, sometimes we get so wrapped up when we start a job like okay, how do I need to show up? How do I need to be how am I going to connect? Are people going to think I’m stupid, all the imposter syndrome comes in and we can get really self focused in that process. And all of that self focus about worrying about you know, identity And you know who I am was what I do can really kind of lead sometimes to imposter syndrome, oh my gosh, am I even qualified for this? What if I get in there and I found out, but what we’re really doing is spending a lot of our time and energy focusing on us. So what I really encourage folks to do is and I have to do this when I’m presenting, because sometimes I get really wrapped around the axle of my own nerves. And then I remember, Oh, my God, there’s other people here, besides me. And so just turning your attention to other people and asking yourself this one question. How do I want other people to feel around me? What are three words that describe how I want other people to feel? And I’ve learned to ask myself that question, you know, whether I’m walking in and giving a presentation where I’m all nervous, because it takes the attention off of mine nervousness and all my inner drama, and it focuses on them. Same thing, when you’re going into a new job, it can be really tempting to just be all wrapped around the axle of nerves and everything. And just to ask yourself, Wait a minute, how do I want other people to feel when I come into this room, or when I have a meeting with them, or we have introductory meetings, and it just helps you keep the focus on them. In a connection sort of way, give me helps you stay a little more calm, a little more connected. And I think sometimes it can help with just kind of that nervousness of that identity shift. Honestly, having compassion for yourself, is the best way to move forward and just say, You know what, I’m having an identity shift, and it just feels uncomfortable. But I can also focus on the other people in the room that I would be connecting with, and how I want them to feel so I can bring, build those connections,

Jenn Smith  26:38  

right. And I feel like so many people, when they’re making changes, and we’re talking about clarity around what they want to do, they want to help others. Like that’s the you We hear this all the time, I want to help others, I want to be of service. And as you’re starting a new job, if you go in with that mindset, that service mindset of helping others and taking the spotlight off of you, and really doing what you want to be doing in that organization. It just totally changes the dynamic there for sure. Yeah, so and you had such a great point around the rhyming points, oh, this is gonna stick in my head, I’m gonna have to use this one, the who and the do and separating those Wow, what a powerful way just to kind of take a step back and you know, kind of be able to separate that and help you shift make that identity shift. Yeah, great. Points. Thank you. The next tip here is being flexible. So I always talk about being agile, it is a thing we’ve learned if we’ve never if we didn’t learn anything over the last couple years, we’ve learned how to be flexible and agile. So talk to us about this, if you kind of start a new job, and you’re going in with a master plan, and that plan gets interrupted, you have to be able to be flexible and kind of roll with it. So talk to me about that.

Kelli Thompson  27:47  

Yeah. So I think it’s important because if you’re, if you’re a high achiever, and you’re starting out in your career, you’re probably sitting there the night before you start your job, or even the first week, I’m just saying, I may or may not have done this, and my clients do it, too. They make their 90 Day plans. Okay, so then I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna do this. In fact, I have a story about a client, she she got a new role, and she’s overseeing marketing. And in her first week, she just bakes out this 90 day plan. And she’s like, this plan is good. And, you know, she was about, I’d say, 60 to 75 days in, and we were actually having a call. And she was just really upset because I had in my 90 day plan that I was going to have this brand new system implemented, she was not implemented, Kelli, but just, you know, I was going to have the contractor sourced, I was going to have the technology pick, we were going to have an agreement signed. And she was really stressed because that hadn’t happened. And so I just had to ask her the question like, are your expectations realistic? Where you’re even were your expectations realistic in the first place? Or were you bringing in old assumptions from all jobs based on old relationships, old paste everything into this new job? So I think that, you know, when it comes to flexibility, it’s really important and I work with my clients, you know, to really, when they’re in that career change mindset, because I’ve had to do it to is to take some time between old job a new job, and intentionally let go of assumptions. assumptions of how this company might work might make decisions, you might have some clues based on the job process, but even releasing assumptions of what you think you’re going to accomplish by when, based on you know, things that you’ve been done in the past, because that way you bring in kind of that new learner’s mindset. You can have some ideas, I’m not saying to come in completely, just like whatever. But what I’m saying is, is I think it’s that constant questioning of are my ideas, are my plans realistic? Or are they rooted in old assumptions based on old relationships and old expectations? And I think just the ability to answer like, ask yourself that question just keeps you a little bit more flexible so that you can meet the needs of the moment. Because sometimes when we are so laser focused on meeting this need, because we hadn’t our plan, we are missing all of the opportunities that might be a little bit more pressing.

Jenn Smith  30:08  

Yeah, for sure. And it’s almost like, you know, having a some type of structure as you as you go in again, if, especially if the organization doesn’t have a structured onboarding plan, you have some ideas about what you want to accomplish. But it’s almost taking a step back. And, you know, observing and just seeing how the organization operates, and see how people interact, and then figure out where you can plug in, you know, your ideas and bring your vision to life. And so it’s, you know, kind of having having the plan, but, you know, making sure that there, it allows for a little bit of, you know, bending and flexibility along the way. And so

Kelli Thompson  30:46  

your values are so important, his values provide for flexibility, because you can you can say to yourself, Okay, what are three words that describe how I’m going to operate in the next 90 days? Is it going to be with creativity, connection, and curiosity? Well, if you’re focused on the values that you want to hold in those first 90 days, it allows you to be a little bit more flexible about the timelines that you know, maybe have imposed on yourself, because you can ask yourself, like, is adhering to this timeline, or this rigid schedule, allowing me to be as creative as I need to be to success to be successful. So I think that’s another good way to bring in values is values are your TrueNorth, that kind of guide your how, and they allow your goals to be flexible, and kind of how you get there.

Jenn Smith  31:32  

Yes, and to take that, I guess, one step back to if, if we’ve got folks that are going through a career change, you know, and say that flexibility is not one of your core strengths, or your core values. And that is just not something you prefer the structure. And you need to know like black and white, everything that you’re doing, you want to make sure that the organization value structure before you before you get in as well. So I love the idea of being flexible in your 90 day plan. But going back to your values, if you do value structure over flexibility, making sure or if you value flexibility over structure, like you were working in this very rigid, you know, bureaucracy of a bank, and you valued creativity and curiosity and just wasn’t there. It’s not a match. So, you know, so I think that there’s a there’s an opportunity to do that before you even get into the 90 days.

Kelli Thompson  32:20  

Amen. Yeah,

Jenn Smith  32:21  

what we want. So Excellent. Alright, so the next one we have here is own your talents. And I love this. So talk to me about how in the first 90 days, you can still share, you know, what you have to offer with, you know, kind of confidence, but not it, you know, kind of overpowering as you go through your first 90 days.

Kelli Thompson  32:44  

Absolutely. So I have a saying that I say and that is owning your talents is the antidote to imposter syndrome. Because I know that I found myself starting and brand new jobs where you’re, you have no idea what people are talking about. In fact, I felt this deeply after I started this job. And then nine months later, we got acquired by a publicly traded company, which is like working for a whole new company all over again. And we were flying down for integration meetings in California. And I’m sitting in conference rooms and listening to executives talk about things that I have no idea what they’re talking about, like new acronyms, the whole thing is starting over again. And we were there for three days. I remember going back to my hotel room that first night, and I remember thinking to myself, like, why am I even here? I feel like I have nothing to add. Like, I’m an introvert. So you know, I’m not naturally the most gregarious person in the room, I don’t verbally process. I really have to like, kind of think and prepare. And so I’m at home and or I’m at the hotel room, and I’m like, why am I even here? And I was like, okay, you know what, like, you’re here for two more days at these integration meetings, like, you need to kind of get this figured out. And then I just kind of had an aha moment. And I’m like, Oh, I’m here because my CEO wants me here. I’m here because I’m not just here for myself, I’m here to represent the entire HR function, which means I represent the people back home in Nebraska. I’m here because I’m an expert in training and development. I am here because I’m really good at leading change. And so when I started to kind of really think about what my CEO wanted me there, but to all the reasons and talents that led me to that room, it became really clear like, oh, in these conversations, I need to speak up for people because that’s why I’m here and that’s what I’m good at. I’m good at knowing what’s going to work with people programs. Oh, I need to speak up when we talk about impacts of change to people, because that’s what I’m really good at. And so in that meeting that night when I could list my talents when I went back the next couple of days. Yes, there was lots of conversations where I had no clue what the heck they We’re talking about, but what I didn’t know was I knew HR impacts and policies and processes. I knew what training and development programs wouldn’t would not work that we would need to do in the integrations. And I knew what worked and what didn’t work when it came to leading change. And so that’s where I focus my energies and my contributions, because when I could own my talents of that, it really helped relieve my imposter syndrome. And I was able to speak up and ask good questions, get curious, in meetings, and offer ideas based on those topics that helps me feel like I was like I was contributing and contributing in a way that felt authentic to me, and in alignment with my talents and gifts.

Jenn Smith  35:38  

Yeah, you were hired for a reason. They want you to bring your fresh ideas, and especially if you’re changing industries, I mean, you know, you’re hired for a reason to bring in your previous experiences and your foundational transferable skills and experiences. And you were hired to bring those fresh ideas. So I you know, love having that own your talents, you were hired for a reason. You’ve got every right to bring these ideas. That’s why you’re in the room. So and you mentioned the acquisition, it just reminded me of a story. My last corporate job, I was there for eight years, literally the day I signed my offer letter, there was an article in the Wall Street Journal that the company I signed with, was being acquired by another company. Oh, no. Oh, what it’s just so it’s such a hard thing to navigate through, right when you start with a new organization, and especially an HR. Yeah. What I remember thinking, do I still have a job like, what just happened, but it worked out to be it worked out great, but it is, it is a little nerve racking. And I have to mention to you, you’ve talked about the acronyms a couple times, and I can’t stop thinking about my first job out of college was with PepsiCo and Frito Lay. And we had a dictionary, I mean, a dictionary size book of acronyms. And I just remember like, how am I ever going to even be able to speak this language, you know, let alone learn an entire dictionary of acronyms. It’s so hard, you know.

Kelli Thompson  37:06  

And sometimes companies use the same acronym for something totally different thing, thinking one thing you’re like, oh, my gosh, they’ve been talking about something different sold time.

Jenn Smith  37:16  

Yes. And there’s reminding yourself, you are hired for a reason and own your talents. I love it. All right, Kelli. So your final tip here is probably maybe one of the most important if I go out on a limb around focusing on self care, and boundaries. This is so hard when you’re starting a new job. So talk to us about some of your tips here.

Kelli Thompson  37:37  

Yeah, so when we’re new, we want to make a good impression, or humans, we want to do good work, we want to feel fulfilled, we want to give our contributions. And sometimes when we get into new organizations, you know, I’ve seen this myself, I’ve seen it with my clients, they get all excited about impressing or taking on work or showing competence, remember, like the whole who I am, is what I do sort of thing, that they kind of let all their boundaries go out the window, they say yes to all the projects. And then they find themselves working hours much later than they would normally tolerate at their old job. They find themselves checking email a lot more frequently into the night, they find themselves logging in on weekends to get all of the work done of the projects that they said yes to because you know, they’re eager, and they’re new, and they want to take it on. And so one of the things that’s really important that can cause some burnout in the next 90 days, I’ve seen it with my own eyes with my clients is through genuine, intense, and curiosity and learning, they just say yes to too much stuff, because they’re just trying to just really make that impression. And 90 days in, they kind of have a mini crash point. And they go, Oh, I can’t work these sort of hours. I can’t be logging in like this at night, I can’t be available like this at night or be, you know, having to do work on the weekends. And they get into this weird sticky spot where they then have to go back to their new leader and start to communicate, Hey, maybe I think I’ve taken on too much. And I need to talk about reprioritizing my workload, you know, I kind of underestimated or overestimated how much I could take on. And so that in and of itself can be a tricky conversation, because not only are you feeling a little overworked, but now you got to go back to this new boss that you’re just getting acquainted to, and saying, just kidding. You know, I think I overestimated what I could handle. And I think I need to reprioritize time and it’s just a really tender and vulnerable conversation. And so I think it’s just really being mindful of asking yourself, like, will I know this feels really exciting? And is this in alignment with my values? And is this contributing to the goals that I want to meet or set for myself in the first you know, 92, you know, 90 days two to six months in the role? So I think it’s just slowing down and asking those questions to make sure that you set good work life balance up in the beginning, or some folks find themselves perpetuating a work life balance issue because of it. Yeah,

Jenn Smith  39:59  

it does. is probably one of the hardest things for me personally, it’s just, you just want to get in and you want to prove yourself, you know, and sometimes that means, you know, working late and responding immediately and, but what you’re really doing is you’re training your co workers that you’re going to respond all the time immediately and all the things and that’s just, it’s not sustainable. So, you know, so kind of starting, you know, I guess, like going into your, into your role, knowing what your boundaries are, and how you’re going to teach or train what those are for your new co workers. Yeah, it’s a hard thing to do. But it’s really important to think about as you get into, you know, get into a new role. So you’re always teaching people how to use you. This, this is true. We learned that pretty quickly. And most of the time, at least for me the hard way. So like, yeah, Kelli, these are awesome tips. What about I had, I threw it, another one in here around virtual, you know, making a fabulous first impression in this virtual reality? So do you have any thoughts or tips for our listeners, you know, on that it’s a little bit harder, just would love your thoughts here?

Kelli Thompson  41:06  

You know, it is a little bit harder. And I still think that the same principles apply. It’s asking yourself, if I were on the other end, you know, how would I want a new virtual employee to reach out to me to interact with me know, to, you know, what are three words that it’s the whole values thing again, you know, how would I want them to behave? And I think, too, I just think it’s, it’s still goes back to the values work, and I feel like I’m, you know, kind of beating it into the ground, but it’s so important to say, you know, despite that this is a virtual world, you know, what are three words that describe how I want people to see me moving into this organization, you know, um, you know, navigating a virtual world can be a little bit difficult, because you are setting up zoom, you’re learning Slack channels, if that’s what you’re learning and all the different tools and technologies, sometimes I think you have to give yourself a little bit extra grace. Because you are having to take in so many disparate technology issues without sometimes the benefit of sitting, you know, in a room with other people and being able to lean over and be like, hey, you know, sometimes you can slack it. But I would also encourage organizations, this is where organizations have really had to step up and not let folks flounder, I mean, it’s just a different world of onboarding folks in a virtual environment. And so you know, it’s really making sure people have all the resources they need. If you’re virtual, it’s going to be more important for you to really be vocal about what you need, hey, this is where I’m at, this is what I’m missing, this is what I’m searching for, this is what I could use. So really, I use the analogy of, you really need to take yourself off mute.

Kelli Thompson  42:51  

And be even more clear about what you want and need from your leader because you’re removing a lot of body language from it. So clarity loves success here really needs to get clear about what you need, what you feel like you’re missing what you’re looking for, and what else you need to be paying attention to to be successful.

Jenn Smith  43:06  

Yeah, don’t be afraid to speak up. You know, and especially as you’re getting to know, people, like that’s what should be one of your biggest priorities in your first 90 days. And you need to you can’t just sit behind your computer screen, you got to get out there and get to know people, I heard a tip somewhere, I’m not sure where I heard this. But I love the idea of when you have zoom meetings, either ask the facilitator for literally 30 seconds at the beginning of the meeting, or at the end of the meeting, and just introduce yourself, like let people put a name to a face. Yes. And that will just, it will just kick start your you know, making an impression with folks. And then you can reach out for you know, quick little 10 minute coffee chats to introduce yourself even further. But at least people know you exist. And they can put a name and a face together. So I think that’s just one little quick thing. You know, that can be an easy win. Right, right, right from the beginning.

Kelli Thompson  43:55  

And all of us have that responsibility. I had a client once who was frustrated that her employer wasn’t doing that. So she was I’m not new. She was my QFC and all these new faces, and I’m like, these people she was. So one day, I decided to say there’s a lot of new faces here. Do you mind if we just do a quick introduction, even if it’s in the chat, because there’s a few of them. But I hope I love that idea. I’m so glad that you shared that because it is whether you are new or you seeing a lot of new people. I think that that’s just a really great way to create belonging.

Jenn Smith  44:24  

Take the initiative. Yeah. Well, as we wrap up here, you have shared so many nuggets of wisdom and information. So if you had to share one piece of advice for somebody who is getting ready or has just started a new job, what would that be?

Kelli Thompson  44:45  

You know, I think for somebody who’s getting ready to start a new job, I will always go back to is never late, never too late to sit down and claim your values. Because again, they are going to outline what you stand for. They’re going to be your TrueNorth and How you want to work, I always say the difference between values and goals is that goals are things you cross off a list values, determine if it even makes the list. And so when you can get really clear about what your values are, and making sure that you are asking those questions, in interviews, you’re going to be much less likely to, you know, choose an employer that has a values mismatch. Because you know, when your values align with just like you said, it makes things so much easier. I think the second thing is really owning your unique talents, like what have you been put on this earth to do? What could you geek out about all day long? Like, what are you pretty lose track of time doing and really owning that, and looking for a career that allows you to use those talents? Because I honestly believe that some of the reasons why we’re so burnout, I think a big aha moment we had all collectively was that we realized how much work was draining us, and how it was just sucking our energy dry. And so I really want you to think about what is it that you’ve done in your career that really searches your energy? And how can you find ways to do more of that and find a role that aligns with that. And then I would say, you know, and making sure that you know, you’re setting boundaries and doing that core of work in your first 90 days. And then the last one, I always tell, especially women, Trust yourself, trust your gut. If something feels off in the interview process trusted, just just slow down. I know how flattering it feels, sometimes to get a job offer, especially a lucrative one. But I will tell you that if it does not feel that peaceful, exciting, maybe even scarier citing feeling if it feels a little dreadful, a little heavy, a little chaotic, a little conflicted, slow down, and Trust yourself, trust your gut, your gut is never wrong.

Jenn Smith  46:41  

Yeah, your intuition knows the answers. You just have to be able to listen to it for sure. I love your point around energy and draining one of my favorite phrases working with you know, in the career world is that work should cultivate your energy, not drain your energy. So making sure to pay attention to that as you as you make a transition. And don’t forget to if you are in your first 90 days, everyone’s been there. Everybody has a new person. Everybody in point in their careers. So it’s okay.

Kelli Thompson  47:09  

It is and everybody loves to help the new person. So Astro, I mean ask yourself when you’ve seen a new person, haven’t you kind of like wanted to help? Yes, yeah. So ask for help. Because somebody is just waiting to help you. They’re so excited. You’re there.

Jenn Smith  47:23  

So fun. Kelli, this has been a great discussion. Tell us what is next for you?

Kelli Thompson  47:29  

Well, I’m working on my book, The editing is done. So the book will be released TBD. There’s a paper shortage. I don’t know if everybody knew that. But so we’re thinking late October, early November will be the release date for the book. You can learn more at closing the confidence gap.com forward slash book. And there are going to be some chances to read my book early. So get on the waitlist, and you might get some some early access opportunities this summer to get a hold of my book. So that’s what I’m thinking about right now is everything is book book book on the mind. So I’m looking forward to it.

Jenn Smith  48:02  

Congratulations. That’s quite an accomplishment. And we’ll be sure to put that link in the show notes for folks to get more information. So Kelli, this has been so much fun. Thank you for sharing your expertise with us today. This is such an important and helpful topic and I cannot wait for our listeners to dive in. So that’s a wrap for today’s episode. As always, you can find the notes from today’s show at get Career Clarity. show.com/podcast. Talk to you next time.

Lisa Lewis Miller  48:37  

And that’s a wrap. Let us know what you thought about today’s episode. Leave us a review on Apple podcasts. Because not only can your stars and word to help us find great guests and topics to feature on future episodes. Your input also helps other people find the resources they need to discover the work that lights them up. And make sure to check out my book Career Clarity: Finally Find the Work That Fits Your Values and Lifestyle. For the link to order it go to GetCareerClarity.com/book. And don’t forget to get your other tools resources and helpful goodies at GetCareerClarity.com/podcast. Thanks again for joining us for the Career Clarity Show today. And remember, if you don’t love your work, we should talk because life is too short to be doing work that doesn’t light you up. Talk to you next time.