140: How to Stay Centered with Wade Brill

How do you stay mindful and centered when you are navigating a career change process that is inherently emotional, scary, uncertain, and nerve racking through all the different steps? This is the topic we’re discussing today on the Career Clarity Show. So often when we talk about the process of making a change, I’ll refer to certain activities and certain behaviors that are generally going to set you up for success. That said – the smartest among us can get derailed or pulled off track in executing on the best practices, when emotionality and other factors come into play. 

That is why I am so excited for today’s guest because we are going to be talking all about how to recenter, reground yourself when you get pulled off track. Wade Brill is a mindfulness coach, podcaster, and speaker who helps the busy professionals experiencing stress and overwhelm be more present productive and energized.

Want to learn more about our strategic framework for successful career change? Download The Roadmap to Career Fulfillment ebook right here!

Show Notes:

• Wade Brill
• Instagram: @OneWade 
• Linkedin: Wade Brill
• Centered in the City Podcast
• Roadmap to a Fulfilling Career eBook

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Transcript

Lisa Lewis Miller  0:04   

Welcome to the Career Clarity Show. If you want to create a career path you’ll love, you’re in the right place. I’m Lisa Lewis Miller, career change coach, published author and your host. And each week, we’ll bring you personal transformation stories, advice and insights from experts about how you can find a more fulfilling, soulful and joyful career. Hello, hello, and welcome back to the Career Clarity Show. I’m your host, Lisa Miller, and I am delighted that you are with us today. On today’s episode of the podcast, we are talking about an element of considering career change and executing on career change that is present for all of us. And that not very many of us talk about and not very many of us recognize and realize in the process. And what we’re covering today is the question of how to stay mindful and grounded and centered when you are navigating a process that is inherently emotional, scary, uncertain, nerve racking, anxiety producing through all the different steps, starting with that question of I don’t know what I want to do, but it’s not this all the way through to how you approach and show up for the job search process and the interview process to ultimately walk away with an offer. So often when we talk about the process of making a change, you know, I’ll refer to it sort of colloquially as not rocket science, like there are certain practices and certain activities and certain behaviors that are generally going to set you up for success. And what I’ll also say too, is that the smartest among us can get derailed or pulled off track in executing on the best practices, when emotionality and other factors start to become a play a part of the process and come into play. So that is why I am so excited for today’s podcast guest because we are going to be talking all about how to recenter reground yourself when you get pulled off track. So that way you feel like you can be showing up the way that you want to in your search. Today’s guest on the podcast is Wade brill. Wade is a mindfulness coach podcaster and speaker who helps the busy professionals experiencing stress and overwhelm be more present productive and energized. At the age of 21 Wade survived Hodgkin’s lymphoma while simultaneously losing her mother to leukemia. This major life interruption inspired way to realize how precious life is and that practicing radical self care is smart, not selfish. Wade’s life work is helping others connect to their own inspiration, weighed as a professional certified coach, energy leadership index practitioner and meditation facilitator through UCLA Semel Institute of neuroscience and human behavior, human behavior. She hosts the popular centered in the city podcast and as the creator of the centered in the city on demand platform, offering modern meditations and self care resources for busy professionals. Wade, welcome to the Career Clarity Show.

Wade Brill  3:27  

Thank you for having me, Lisa. I’m so excited to be here.

Lisa Lewis Miller  3:32  

Well, I feel like it couldn’t be a better time to have you coming on and sharing your message. And your background and all the things that you’ve accomplished are so impressive. And I’m curious, what was the what was the impetus for leaning into mindfulness as the focus of your life’s work and have the gift that you share with people?

Wade Brill  3:57  

Yeah, my journey with mindfulness and meditation really stems from, from, you know, my story from my history where back in college was the first time I was introduced to meditation. And I had to, for a human psychology course, like, practice meditation consistently for I think, like, four, six weeks. And I remember being like, what is this buoy thing that, you know, my school is teaching us to do. And within that, for six weeks, exploration, I started to realize how practicing meditation helped me with anxiety around schoolwork around kind of prepping for tests and just kind of managing the workload. And then that kind of took a pause after that class was done. I was like, Okay, great. That was cool. And then a year later, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and I remember sitting in the doctor’s office room, in your city, with my mom there, and I was waiting to get diagnosed with what stage of cancer I was in. And I had this visceral moment where I just felt all of this anxiety, all of this overwhelm navigating all this uncertainty just swirl around me. And I just remember kind of grabbing on to the doctors table that I was sitting on, and just being like, I need something like, I need something to keep me grounded right now because I can feel my whole life. Just up in chaos. You know, I had to stop school, I was a junior in college, I was just studying abroad, I had to leave that program, like my whole world had just flipped upside down. And I remember turning to my mom in that moment and saying, I want to start meditating again. And from that day forward, I committed to practicing meditation every morning for at least a minute, to create some sort of consistency and grounding practice. And in the beginning, I was like, What is this, I’m not feeling anything, it was so fidgety when I’d said, Nothing felt. I didn’t feel quote unquote, what you’re supposed to feel, you know, and I kept the practice going. And one day, I want to say about like six months after staying consistent with it, I had this feeling of, Wow, I can notice all that is happening around me and inside of me, but I don’t have to react to it. And from that moment on, I realized that meditation, and my mindfulness practice was the best medicine that I was taking while going through chemotherapy, you know, grateful for the drugs of chemotherapy to, you know, kill the cancer cells in me, but I, this was the best thing I could take for my mind, for my emotional health. And a few months after I began chemotherapy, my mom suddenly passed away due to complications with her leukemia. And I had my meditation practice to lean on to help me navigate that kind of next wave of life, throwing me upside down. And from that moment, just feeling, how this practice created some stability within me, that kept me grounded, that kept me sane, that kept me also a contributor to helping me be proactive in my health, changed my life forever. And I was like, This is a gift and a practice that I want to share with others. And so from then, you know, that started my journey of more training and working with people one on one in groups and corporations, and gives me my purpose for getting up every day and getting to do what I get to do.

Lisa Lewis Miller  8:11  

I feel like there’s so much in your story, weight of just everything that you have, you’ve been through and all the grief in your journey. That’s, it’s so profound. And I almost feel like we could spend a whole podcast in unpacking the resilience and the perseverance and you know, all the incredible things about that part of your journey. But knowing it’s the Career Clarity Show, gonna take us in a little different direction for

Wade Brill  8:38  

let’s go for it. It’s all connected, you know, resilient, he is all, we all need it.

Lisa Lewis Miller  8:45  

It’s so true. And I think that there’s some really beautiful parallels between the feeling of going through something that’s so outside of your control with your body and with your circumstances, and trying to find your own footing. That moves over into the career space really beautifully. You know, there are perhaps more things that you can do in the career space actively to take action and try to change your circumstances. But at some level in this work, and in this process, there are absolutely pieces of this that are just outside of your control. Like when you get to that moment of aha clarity on what you’d like to move into next, or successfully securing an interview or sitting in that liminal space between doing an interview and finding out how they thought the interview when. So there are so many moments when figuring out how to return back to yourself and not let some of the the natural emotionality around any of these circumstances and situations then spiral up and become out of control and make it feel more miserable. That feels like a really important space to jump in. And I know you often coach and teach high performing professionals. So I’m curious where you see, in someone’s professional life, the biggest moments where mindfulness and being grounded, can really make an impact into somebody’s

Wade Brill  10:21  

life. Yeah, you know, it’s all around knowing and listening to ourselves, whatever the situation is, and, you know, particularly with high professionals, who are navigating career change, or just navigating corporate worlds, or just navigating their life, it’s understanding their mindset, the thoughts that they have. And, you know, a lot of the time when people are job searching, or, or noticing, like, is this current role really fitting with me? Like that? Right, there is just awareness. And that is where mindfulness comes in. Right? Do we have awareness of each moment, moment to moment of what, what feels right for ourselves? And so with some people, you know, I’d say they start to catastrophize the future, like, Oh, if I’m going to stay in this job forever, what’s going to happen to me? Is it going to look bad on my resume? If I don’t leave after three years? Or they start to spiral? You know, they’re waiting for a job of? Am I gonna get this job? What happens if I don’t get this job? Am I a failure, you know, we wrap up our sense of identity to kind of these victims and to this feedback and outcomes. And, you know, I think in American culture, we also identify so much our job as us, you wrap it, and so being able to create some space, there is also so important. So those are some kind of places where, where I see people you know, getting to really work with their mindsets and and how mindfulness can support them.

Lisa Lewis Miller  12:14  

And what I’m hearing you articulate in their weight is that the thoughts that we think about our circumstances and our situations are so powerfully determinant of then the emotional experience and the sense of like you said, catastrophizing or the sense of being in control that there’s a lot of thought, work and thought, mindfulness, thought, awareness. That sounds like it can make a really profound impact.

Wade Brill  12:45  

Yes, yes. And as you were alluding to, right, our thoughts, create our emotions within contribute to the action or inaction we take. And so having awareness of our thoughts, having awareness of our emotions, all gives us information. But if we’re not training ourselves, to be mindful to tune into our awareness, we’re not really collecting data, to understand like, where we are in life, what’s meaningful to us what feels what feels good, you know, and I know when you talk about clear clarity, right, it’s like, even having the the ability to recognize it’s the lifestyle I want, right. And that kind of insight and wisdom can then help guide us to making choices and intentional choices in life.

Lisa Lewis Miller  13:30  

Well, let’s talk about that intentionality, and the data and the feedback loop and the thought, because I love all of those concepts. And I want to just paint a picture about how they all fit together. So can you give an example either a hypothetical one, or maybe somebody that you’ve worked with, where all these different pieces fit together that had them on one trajectory towards feeling ways they might not have wanted to feel? And then kind of course correcting into a trajectory that felt more mindful and more grounded?

Wade Brill  14:00  

Yeah, so I’ve a client that I was working with, who, you know, I think, and you know, and just kind of zooming out for a moment. We’re in this weird, interim, like uncertainty space, right? With the job market, what’s happening work from home? Is this going to be the future is hybrid, right? We don’t know yet. And so that right, there is just even like a mindset, we don’t know what’s gonna happen the future. We never even pre pandemic knew what was going to happen in the future. And so, you know, when navigating the career change, like this client was working in a job, wasn’t loving the job, but wanted to move back to the East Coast. And so was exploring, can I stay in this job and move back? Will they let me leave the state? You know, what does that look like from a corporate HR perspective? So there’s like all that navigating. And then they’re like, or do I look for another job. And so there’s even just there like that uncertainty of what do I want, and that kind of wobble and that kind of thought process of too many options, you know, analysis paralysis, like there’s too many options and that just the overwhelm shut her down, shut her down from even thinking impossibility. And so what we did was really slow it down. Because I think what can happen is we can feel like, the world is moving so fast that things feel out of our control. But if we can slow it down, and we can do that by just connecting to our breath, by feeling our feet on the ground, by feeling our nervous system, relax. And when we can do that, it then feels like we can see more possibilities, we can see the possibilities of choice but without needing to react or have the right answer or the perfect answer. And so we did that was just like, slow it down, practice breathing, practicing calming down the nervous system. And so she could see options and choices. And then we could actually play with trying those options and choices on of like, what actually feels good. You know, Can you visualize yourself back on the East Coast? What does that feel like? What, what kind of lifestyle do you want to be creating does that kind of fit the vision you have. And then exploring that. And then, you know, there’s also this leap of faith that needs to happen of when you take an action. And so she take micro steps to take action and then leaned back into trust, which is huge. Oh, my God, trust is like a lifelong, you know, exploring process, but trust to trust herself to navigate this process, trust timing was going to work out. And she then leaning back into that leaning back into that feeling of trust, allowed her to take action from this place of this place of want, you know, this place of feeling like she’s in control. And, and then she just found out a few weeks ago that her company actually will move her will allow her to move back East. So like all of the worry, all of the what ifs all that, you know, didn’t even matter. And so now she gets to transition back to a city that she’s excited about and gets to be doing the work that she still cares about. For the time being.

Lisa Lewis Miller  17:42  

There’s so many pieces I want to peel apart in that story, you know, one of them being but so often we can build up these heads of steam of anxiety or stress or fear or whatever, ultimately, don’t don’t matter don’t come to fruition, you know, it’s kind of our, our psyches way of trying to protect us from potential future disappointment, but it kind of robs us of peace in the waiting and getting to feel the joy when things work out as opposed to more of a sense of like relief or exhale. And that part feels really significant. But then the, the part that you were talking about that I want to dig into a little bit further around, slowing things down, feels really important. Because that premise of grounding your feet into the floor, focusing in on your breath, not looking at your email for 10 minutes, you know, all the little practices may seem a little and inconsequential on their face. But I mean, wait, how many people do you see who are just zooming through their lives, I got to flip from this meeting or this device to this thing that I got to respond to this email and just like zoom, zoom zooms, switching from one task or activity to another to another without a moment to ground and breathe that then kind of see that zooming energy spill over into their health, their relationships, their ability to be patient, their ability to feel like they have energy left in the tank for friendships.

Wade Brill  19:32  

Everybody, I mean, everybody, but I would say 98% And it’s called hurry sickness. Like there’s a word for this. And when I found out that term, I was like, Oh my God, there’s a label for it. And I have hurry sickness, you know like it is constant even though I teach this stuff. It is a constant practice to not get swept up by this feeling of hurry sickness and you know the Hurry sickness is this ability for us to feel like there’s a timer on us that we need to get everything crossed off of our list faster than it actually is true. And it’s kind of the speediness within us that we create. And sometimes, you know, most of the time, it’s self inflicted. It’s kind of our own internal charged up energy that we’re like, edited, edited, I need to get this all done. Sometimes, you know, it is the pressure of external time, because maybe we created to full of a schedule that we are just so back to back to back to back to back. But hurry sickness is something like we all experienced, and it takes a lot of intentionality away, it takes mindfulness for us to be able to zoom out and notice, well, what is my pace today? Like, how fast am I moving? How fast am I thinking? How fast is my breathing? You know, one of the signs when you can kind of do a wellbeing, check in on yourself, is to ask yourself, you know, am I clumsy? Do I drop a lot of dishes? Do I spill a lot of things? Do I sometimes that’s a symbol, a kind of feedback loop that we are in a hurry sickness loop. When we’re moving so fast. I know the other day, I was having people over for dinner. And I was cooking. And I was multitasking by having some video calls while I was cooking in the kitchen and did it you know, I was creating my own hurry sickness spiral. And I dropped a ball and it broke. And I was like, Oh, wait, wake up. Like this is a sign you are moving too fast. And so that was an opportunity just to like slow down, take a couple deep breaths, even with the fullness of my day to create some spaciousness in it is huge. And I think we do that on a micro level, you know, with what I was just explaining to the macro level of, you know, I’m in my 20s, I need to figure out my perfect career or I’m in my 30s I need to find my partner and my perfect career and me to start having kids ended up or, you know, I’m in my 40s I, and you figure out my next career step. And what am I doing is my kids, you know, like we create these time bomb pressures for ourselves that speed us up and take us out of the present moment.

Lisa Lewis Miller  22:28  

Hmm, that’s so resonant. Wait, and I feel like when you’re talking about that the time pressures? I think I’ve said this before on a previous podcast episode, but I, when I have a call with a prospective coaching client, inevitably, they will tell me how old they are. I never ask and never ask. Because to me, that question is not relevant to helping you find fulfillment and satisfaction that is available to you at any age and stage. It is accessible to you no matter how old or how young you perceive yourself to be. But we really do create these thoughts about at this age, I should be XYZ I should have I should have this title. And so often, it comes from this sort of compare and despair sense of oh, well, this person that I graduated undergrad with, has this title at this company, and I only have this title, or this person who was my neighbor down the street growing up, started doing this or that business, and they’re only x age and I want to be able to do that by x age. And so I really hear you on how easy it is and how perhaps societally encouraged that is to use this kind of age, measuring stick to artificially induce hurry sickness. Mm hmm. And I also feel like when you’re talking about symptoms of hurry sickness in your life, and you’re talking about being clumsy, the other thing that immediately popped to mind for me is his digital clumsiness of replying all when you should have just replied totally, or having the wrong thing, sending to the wrong person, having a typo in a thing. You wouldn’t ordinarily have a typo in finding yourself sending emails that have odd timestamps on them because you feel like you need to get up super early or you’re in bed at 11 o’clock at night, but you can’t shut your brain off. So you just answer three more emails. So I feel like there are a lot of symptoms of digital clumsiness or less digital hurry sickness. That when you start paying a little bit more attention and you Again weighed, like you’ve been saying slowing down, you might see a lot more of than you were initially aware of.

Wade Brill  25:07  

Mm hm. Yeah, I love that you’re bringing in the digital aspect is it’s so true or sometimes, you know, I think we rev ourselves up because there’s this desire in our American North American culture, that if we aren’t busy, if we aren’t busy and doing things that we aren’t productive, and that if we aren’t productive, then we don’t have a sense of self worth, or place in this world, or like, what are we doing or meaning. And so we can get really trapped in that belief cycle and system. And then we’re kind of a slave to time or a slave to our jobs, were a slave to capitalism, versus us really being intentional, slowing down to be mindful about, you know, what matters to us? How can we make the things that matter to us a priority and negotiated in and fit it in, and sometimes that means, like, we’re not doing everything. And that’s a good thing, too, you know, or we get to pass it off, or we get to, you know, take down or be realistic with our to do list. So it’s not 10 things long.

Lisa Lewis Miller  26:24  

Oh, my gosh, wait, I want to talk about this. Because I feel like so often, especially in the job search process, we associate success or worthiness, with productivity, but think about productivity, kind of an air quotes, of this idea that I, my, the only forward motion that matters is for emotion that somebody else can see and can measure. So I need to apply to five jobs a week or else I need to do the spray and pray approach where I send out 20 job applications a week. And so often, that sense obligatory productivity, or doing things that others would look at and believe to be productive, can so often come from a place that’s driven by anxiety and not driven by intentionality, or strategy.

Wade Brill  27:25  

Yeah, we can get very reactive. And I think the circles back to something we were talking about few minutes ago, with compare despair conversation, where I think some people have are in jobs for the last eight years and maybe have never moved, maybe they’ve moved vertically or ladder leaves in their own company, but they haven’t left. And then they’ll compare themselves to friends who are switching jobs and working their way up and really paying attention to their next career move, you know, every two, three years, or whatever that rhythm looks like. And they compare and despair themselves against that. And so then sometimes what hits them is this feeling of like, Oh, my God, I’m falling behind, you know, and I need to catch up. And that kind of reactive energy can then drive them to just want to like search for other jobs on LinkedIn, or, you know, job postings. And, and I think, you know, there’s a point of like, action is, is good, because it’s moving you forward, it’s not keeping you still. But we want to make sure that you’re taking action from a place of intentionality versus just getting out there. Because if you just kind of get out there aimlessly, you then are kind of shooting blanks and wasting so much energy, and then kind of conspiring back into this, what am I doing process? Where am I going? I’m not good enough cycle that then can create a freeze, and then that shuts down the nervous system in the sense of like, Ah, I’m gonna stay right here.

Lisa Lewis Miller  29:02  

Oh, yeah, there’s a self perpetuating cycle that becomes a self destructive cycle of my anxiety is in the driver’s seat. And so therefore, I’m going to do a whole lot of things, I can feel productive without necessarily slowing down to make sure that they are strategic and intentional and the ideal moves. So I find myself taking a lot of activity having a flurry of motion, but then I don’t see the outcomes that I want from that I’m not getting the interviews, I’m not hearing back. So then it spirals up the anxiety even more of I guess I need to do even more. So then you go into the spray and pray approach of well, let me send out 20 resumes this week, because I only sent out 17 last week. And it can absolutely lead you to that sense of shutdown and that sense of you know, I hear people say, I feel like I’ve done everything. And you’re probably right that you feel like you’ve done everything, but if we dice Back to the quality, and the intentionality and the strategy behind everything that you’ve been doing, there may actually still be a lot of opportunity to help you refocus to make the effort inputs, give you the kind of outcome outputs that you’re looking for.

Wade Brill  30:18  

And you are the queen of that of like slowing that process down to look really at the system in which people are, you know, applying connecting to their values, applying like working, working the Career Clarity, Show method to help people understand that next career step. I think what the mindset piece that can happen for people in those moments is also like having patience with the process. Right? patience with the process, can they be kind to themselves, I think a lot of the time people end up beating themselves up, I’m not good enough conversation. I’m not getting the feedback I want. So can they practice some self compassion and be not just their own cheerleader, but be their best friend, you know, have that sense of inner confidence that, that they are worthy? Because they are and you know, I think people forget to in the job searching process that you’re, you’re dating each other? It has to be a mutual fit. It’s not just oh, will they liked me? You know, oh, do they want me I mean, we all want to experience that sense of wanting, but it has to be a mutual fit. And so then also the mindset of how do we process and be with projection, you know, so that it’s not really hurting our ego or damaging us to a point where it holds us back.

Lisa Lewis Miller  31:50  

Hmm, that’s such a good point. And, and seeing rejection as just a lack of mutually agreed upon fit, rather than a feeling or a character flaw or anything like that. Because way to your point about thinking about mutual fit, and then it being kind of like a dating dynamic, like you wouldn’t want somebody to propose to you that you don’t know if you actually like. So feeling like you can be empowered in those conversations and approach them as a peer with a very different power dynamic can ultimately lead to some really different outcomes from those conversations. And that’s all that any of us want. The end of the day is to be able to step into a new relationship with an employer that feels good and feels empowering, and weighed, backing up to something that you said a couple of moments ago around patience with the process and trusting the process, a statistic that I don’t love to repeat, because I feel like it can make people feel feel really limited. But something that I think is important to have as context to keep in mind when you are approaching your search is that most recruiters and headhunters will say that for every $10,000 in salary you want to make, you need to add a month to your job search. So if you’re looking to make $120,000, you should be anticipating a year long job search, right? If you want to make 200k. And you’re in that that realm for the way that you create value, you should be thinking about a two year job search. And I say that not to make anybody listening feel limited or scared or frustrated. But to impress upon the importance of starting the process of thinking about what’s next, before you are emotionally in more of a hair on fire. Kind of a feeling

Wade Brill  33:50  

space. Yes. Yeah, just to emphasize that, I think, you know, there’s a way to also do that mindfully because we can be present in our careers and in our jobs. And keep our eyes open for what’s next. You know, we can continue to put out our feelers or listen or be paying attention or reading an article or you know, a book or following a podcast that somebody mentioned some company or something like listening and paying attention to what sparks joy or interest in our world while we are still in our present role. And I think when we allow ourselves to percolate and give ourselves permission to play in that space. It’s not that it’s distracting us from our present moment experience. It’s just broadening our present moment experience. And I think that way, it gives people permission to keep looking for what’s interesting for their next move. And then how when they’re ready for a job search or they find a job that actually like feels like the next calling. It can feel like a new easeful transition versus when we got to be a jump ship, this is not this is not fitting me anymore. You know, where do I go? What do I do kind of that frenetic energy?

Lisa Lewis Miller  35:10  

Yeah, I think the the difference between showing up and that frenetic energy versus showing up and grounded energy can ultimately change your outcomes, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. Mm hmm. So weighed that distinction is such such a good one. Now, let me ask you this. If there’s somebody who is listening to this episode of the podcast, and is having that sort of like, Oh, crap moment of, oh, wow, I have hurry sickness, I find myself zooming, I find myself totally just trying to be productive in my search. And I spent hours just Doom scrolling on LinkedIn, or indeed looking for jobs. And I spend even more hours applying and it feels exhausting and stressful. But I also don’t know how to stop and what to do. What do you recommend as the first thing that somebody could do to kind of self assess, or self coach, if they’re noticing being stuck in this anxious loop?

Wade Brill  36:18  

Mm hmm. So if you’re listening right now, and that’s you what Lisa just described, I welcome you to find your feet. And maybe place a hand on your heart or on your abdomen, just sort of kind of a sense of, or maybe hand, holding your other hand, just kind of this physical posture of I got you and just take a breath, and feel yourself in this moment and know that you are not alone. Like, know that you’re not alone, that there are 1000s of people that feel just the way you feel and go through this process. And feel stuck and confused about where to go next. And just know that in this moment, you don’t need to do anything. You just get to breathe and hold yourself in this moment.

Lisa Lewis Miller  37:05  

I almost feel like if you’re listening to this, like, pause the podcast here, and just do it. Take a minute right now to do it. Because so often the hurry worry, sickness tells us like well, I don’t have time to do that. I got to do that later. I’ll do that later. Like, if you’re listening to this while you’re doing house chores, or cooking, or whatever, posit, or walking,

Wade Brill  37:27  

yeah, just find yourself in this moment. And take a breath and it doesn’t need to be long, just even two breaths, just feeling yourself. And then I welcome you to find a way to like hear what are the thoughts that are going on your mind. So whether that’s building a practice of journaling, so you can just kind of jot down have a place to brain dump? What are your thoughts and feelings that are going on your wants the questions you have or maybe that’s sitting with yourself in a meditation practice and just noticing all of the thoughts that are arising, not talking to them, but just noticing them and letting them go? That can be really helpful in just gaining awareness of where you are in this place to slow down this hurry sickness, reactivity energy. And then from there, you know, is really a place of okay, now let me evaluate. Let me think about what’s important to me. What are what are my values? What are the lifestyle that I want to be creating? What? Where do I see in the next? Where do I see myself in the next year? No, then allow yourself to kind of dream storm what comes up for you. And then from there, once you know where you are, once you start to get an image of where you want to go, you can then start to design an action plan to get you there. And sometimes we can do it by ourselves. Sometimes we need to hire career coaches or other coaches or mindfulness coaches to support us in taking the action. But really, like that’s where you can go from this place of intentionality, but from, from really that sense of present aware, intentionality.

Lisa Lewis Miller  39:20  

If you’re listening to this, and you’re driving and you don’t have a place to pull over right now and follow Wade’s advice, once you get to your destination, and you’re getting out of the car, take that moment. Because even if you don’t get to kind of weighed what you’re talking about, I’m getting all the way to thinking about an action plan. Even just the breath and the pause and the grounding and noticing the thoughts that are swirling up and what kind of emotional consequences believing those thoughts might be having on you can be such a powerful jumping in point to feel like you are taking more control over how you want to feel. Is there such a great bond work that that Byron Katie’s contributed tremendously to around our thoughts and recognizing that we generate our thoughts that our thoughts do not sort of exist in some sort of like divine way or they’re placed into our heads, and we have no control and no agency and no say that the more we recognize we create our thoughts, the more it gives us that sense of empowerment and agency to choose to create different thoughts or create more empowering thoughts or to find data points that could prove or disprove a thought so that it stops having more kind of emotional level control over you and your decision making, but comes from more rational, intellectual kind of space.

Wade Brill  40:49  

There’s this, saying that I love that our minds are like gardens, we can grow flowers, or we can grow weeds. And it’s just like, What are you watering? Right? What thoughts are you watering because both are going to be there, just like in a garden, there are beautiful flowers that symbolize maybe beautiful, supportive, maybe positive thoughts. And then there’s some weeds that are going to be there that are kind of more knotty or negative or unpleasant. And so just what are we watering? What do we want to feed more of in our life? And let’s put our focus there not forget that there are negative thoughts or unpleasant thoughts, because if you push it away, it’s going to come back and bite you in some way. But to notice them, but not attached to them, and then say, Yeah, which ones do I want to water?

Lisa Lewis Miller  41:36  

Hmm, I love the way that you’re highlighting that. We can’t just push them away. It’s not like I remember, you know, watching survivor back when that was on the air, maybe it’s still on the air. And this idea of voting someone off the island, like you can’t just vote a thought off the island, you can’t just vote out of your brain. There’s a process of gentleness, and of mindfulness around. That’s an interesting thought. I don’t know that that’s serving me, that feels like it’s showing up as more of a weed than as a flower. I wonder what I could do about that. Or I wonder what that thought is trying to tell me or I wonder if there’s a different thought that could be more empowering and helpful, that could replace it. Those are going to be the practices that really allow you to reap some rich rewards. Mm hmm.

Wade Brill  42:35  

Yeah, can I just accept this thought as it is, and yet put my attention somewhere else that feels more supportive. And that is where we start to feel more in control of life is when we can really watch the mind and where it’s going. And that’s where we’re strengthening our mindfulness muscles becomes a really powerful tool.

Lisa Lewis Miller  42:55  

I love that. Well wait for anybody who’s been listening to this episode of the podcast, and he was loving the idea of strengthening mindfulness muscles, and wants to learn more about you and centered in the city. Where can they find out more information? 

Wade Brill  43:10  

Yeah, so if somebody is listening and wants to build a meditation practice, or journaling practices, or some ritual that’s supporting them grounding into themselves, helping them hear themselves a little bit more deeply, check out center in the city.org, you can sign up for a seven day free trial. And within that seven day free trial, I like to help you build a sustainable ritual. And then you have this platform of 150 and growing library of mindfulness based resources. And then you can also check out my personal website, Wade brill, calm and explore working with me one on one or with corporations. If you’re interested in having your team strengthen your mindfulness muscles. I’ve got some great resources there as well.

Lisa Lewis Miller  43:59  

Wonderful. Well, wait. Thank you. Thank you for coming on the Career Clarity Show today and to sharing your brilliant!

Wade Brill  44:04  

Thank you so much for having me. It’s so fun.

Lisa Lewis Miller  44:13  

And that’s a wrap. Let us know what you thought about today’s episode. Leave us a review on Apple podcasts. Because not only can your stars and words to help us find great guests and topics to feature on future episodes. Your input also helps other people find the resources they need to discover the work that lights them up. And make sure to check out my book Career Clarity: Finally Find the Work That Fits Your Values and Lifestyle for the link to order it go to GetCareerClarity.com/book And don’t forget to get your other tools resources and helpful goodies at GetCareerClarity.com/podcast. Thanks again for joining us for the Career Clarity Show today. And remember, if you don’t love your work, we should talk because life is too short to be doing work that doesn’t light you up. Talk to you next time.