fbpx

Episode 29: How to define success on your own terms in your career, with Daniella Douglas

Welcome to The Career Clarity Show, where we help you find a lucrative, soulful, and joyful career path for you! 

Have you ever noticed that New York City is like crack for the overachievers among us? 

New York’s a seductive mistress. The lights, the opportunities, the food (oh, the FOOD!), and the companies are absolutely world-class. 

In New York City, working long hours and staying at the office into the wee hours of the night is normal. Stress and being “needed” are badges of honor, especially if you work for a sexy brand.

It weirdly can feel “good” to blow off happy hour with friends because you have to complete a last-minute deliverable. Culturally, for most Manhattanites, your title and your work start to define your identity.  

Daniella knows this experience well — she had been producing global events for a well-known international advertising agency in Manhattan and was living the dream: traveling around the world, beloved by the company’s executives. 

But something felt off. It looked great on paper, but didn’t feel so good. 

A lot of people in high-pressure cities like New York know this same feeling (ahem, San Francisco, D.C., Boston, and Chicago, I’m looking at YOU). Like everyone around you is zooming through their careers…but they look exhausted. Not present. Dead in the eyes. 

And a tiny instinct creeps up inside you that says, “I don’t want that to be me. There’s got to be a better way. This cannot be what the next three decades of my career are meant to be like.” 

You might have felt the same pull that Daniella did: that no matter how much money and prestige her current job offered, she wanted to do work that felt more authentic to her soul. 

Like many Career Clarity Show readers and listeners, Daniella was a high-performer. She wanted to feel more like herself at work and was afraid it wasn’t possible in New York. She didn’t have a problem with landing jobs — when she moved to LA to try to find more balance, she got a coveted job working in the arts as a board liaison at a huge nonprofit theater company. She’d found a way to marry her passion for Broadway with a role that leveraged her gifts as a connection-driven extravert. 

Everyone she told about the new job said, “It’s perfect for you! It’s the dream! You’re gonna love this!” 

She started the role with hope and enthusiasm practically radiating out of her pores. And while she was doing pretty well for herself right from the start, it wasn’t long before an inner, quiet sense of discontent began to grow. Day after day, she was starting to realize that the organization prioritized a culture and values that were the completely wrong fit for her. 

She was so great at doing anything she was asked that she didn’t stop to breathe and ask herself: “Even though I *can* do this work, do I actually *want* to do it? What do I want to run toward?”

If you’ve never stopped to ask yourself these questions either, you’re not alone. (Crack is addictive, you know!) 

As soon as we take a moment to ask what we truly want, we immediately start to doubt our desires. We ask things like, “Who am I to do this?” Or: “Am I just being entitled and selfish? Is it really possible to love all aspects of your work? Why can’t I just be okay with climbing this corporate ladder? Shouldn’t I just be happy with what I have?

(And, oh, these questions don’t come to the party alone. They bring super fun party favors like shame, guilt, and fear.)

We feel icky about what we want, so we look externally to try to validate that we’re wrong to want anything different. Most top employees get a high from achievement and being recognized as valuable, whether through promotions, raises, bonuses, or public accolades. And it’s tempting to let those positive data points define us and override our instincts. 

When we’re getting good feedback, it feels good to have our work become our worth. But when something goes sideways at the office, letting work define you becomes paralyzingly scary. 

Daniella’s gut started to tell her that, no matter how well she was doing, she didn’t feel genuine and safe in an organization with wildly different values than hers. Even though she’d only been at this enviable job a few months, she knew she needed to make another change.

Planning a second change after having just switched your career is no easy feat. (Just ask Jess Glazer!) So Daniella needed to map out her full 4 Pillars of Career Fulfillment, prioritize them, and draw the distinction between what looks good to the rest of the world and what felt great for her.

Things that felt great for her included learning to set new boundaries with work, being mindful, and choosing the rebellious and counter-culture stance that other things can be just as important as your work. Things like self-care through fitness, eating nutritious food, and developing deep connections with your loved ones.  

Daniella said, “You have so much more to give, and you are really re-tapping into your potential and creativity so much more when you are taking care of yourself. When you’re running on fumes and stress and anxiety, you can do that for a certain amount of time, but you’re never going to be giving yourself fully.” 

Defining her values — and then living them out — was a game-changer for Daniella. So much so that she eventually decided to move back to New York and start her own business. 

Daniella had been leaving herself breadcrumbs about entrepreneurship her whole life, from painting houses with her dad when she was young to watching her mom thrift and resell fabulous vintage clothes. So, after she finally got clear on who she was and what she valued, it was no surprise that she gravitated toward entrepreneurship. After having taken so many leaps and trying all the jobs that — on paper — seemed like a perfect fit, she knew exactly how to create a safety net for herself so she could really go for it with her burgeoning new business. 

Even though Daniella is back living in the same place where the addiction to status and success started, she’s not the same person. She’s developed a clearer sense of her own values, draws ruthless boundaries with her work, uses mindfulness habits to stay centered, and is living on her own terms. 

You don’t need to move across the country to feel more aligned in your work. You need to figure out what you value most and choose the behaviors that align with your values no matter where you are. (And, don’t worry, you New Yorkers still have the chance to overachieve at creating healthy, happy, intentional lives, too.)   

Want to learn more about our strategic framework for successful career change? Download The Roadmap to Career Fulfillment ebook right here!

SHOW NOTES:

Subscribe to The Career Clarity Show on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play.

And, follow The Career Clarity Show on Facebook and Instagram — and sign up below to receive emails when new episodes come out!

About the Author Lisa Lewis

Lisa is a career change coach helping individuals feeling stuck to find work that fits. She helps people clarify who they are, what they want most, and what a great job for them looks like so they can make their transition as easily as possible. Lisa completed coaching training in Jenny Blake’s Pivot Method, Danielle LaPorte’s Fire Starter Sessions, Kate Swoboda's Courageous Living Coaching Certification, and the World Coaches Institute. In addition to that, she apprenticed with the top career coaches in the country so she can do the best possible work with — and for — you. She's helped more than 500 individuals move into more fulfilling, yummy careers and would be honored to get to serve you next!

follow me on: